G Takes Flight, Beetle Survives, TNTNT Ascends: Week 5 Wrap

What a difference a week makes! From the depths of the Dumpster Fire to the top of the mountain, this week belonged to Air Yordan (Garrett)!

MASH Monsters & Top Performers

After languishing with the worst MASH last week, G flipped the script entirely, posting a league-best MASH of 80-27-3! That dominant performance across the board fueled a solid 7-3 H2H victory. Talk about a bounce-back! Also putting in strong MASH performances were Bro Bichette (Zach) in second with 68-39-3 (more on him later) and yet again The Beetle Bunch (Ben) found himself near the top at 65-41-4.

Matchup Mayhem: The Official Results

• chicksDigtheLongball handled Staff Infection 8-2
• TNTNT crushed Welcome to the Jungle 8-2
• The Beetle Bunch dominated Bronx Bombers 8-2
• Air Yordan took down Bro Bichette 7-3
• Ricky Vaughn defeated BaseOnBalls 6-3-1
• Handsy McNasty beat JOBU 6-2-2

Focus on the Flyers & Survivors

G's Redemption Arc:
We have to start with Garrett. Last week's Dumpster Fire award winner silenced all doubters with an incredible week. Air Yordan finished top-3 across the league in a whopping EIGHT categories (R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, ERA, WHIP, NW). That's how you climb out of a tie for last place! Welcome back to relevance, G!

Beetle Survives and Thrives:
Another week, another win for Ben. The Beetle Bunch dispatched the Bronx Bombers (Doug) 8-2, backed by the week's 3rd best MASH. Ben's squad continues to look rock solid, dominating the pitching ratios this week (leading in ERA and WHIP) and maintaining that comfortable grip on the #1 spot overall (now 37-12-1). The Bunch just keeps rolling.

TNTNT Keeps Climbing:
Don't look now, but the Thompson Boys are quietly putting together a dominant season. Another convincing 8-2 win, this time over Welcome to the Jungle (Neate), paired with a solid MASH (61-46-3), keeps them firmly in the #2 spot in the standings (32-16-2). Their balanced attack (leading HR and NSVH this week) is proving tough to beat.

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This Week's Hard Luck Award 😢

Ouch. You have to feel for Zach (Bro Bichette) this week. Killer's squad put up the second-best MASH in the entire league (a stellar 68-39-3). Any other week, against almost any other opponent, that's a guaranteed win. But who did he run into? Only Garrett having his redemption-fueled, league-best MASH week. The result? A frustrating 3-7 loss despite excellent performances in Runs, NSVH, and K/9. That's a rough beat, Zach.

This Week's "Got Away With One" Award 🍀

Congrats, chicksDigtheLongball (Luke), you caught a break! The Commish secured a big 8-2 win over Staff Infection. While his team performed decently (7th best MASH at 52-52-6, leading the league in Runs), the victory was significantly aided by facing Turg (more on that below), who posted the week's worst MASH. Luke likely would have won anyway, but facing the league's punching bag certainly didn't hurt his category count. Take the W!

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Dumpster Fire of the Week: Turg Returns to Form 🔥

Just when we thought he might have turned a corner... he didn't. After a surprising win last week, Staff Infection (Turg) is back in the Dumpster Fire spot. Jeremy not only lost 2-8 to Luke, but his team scraped the bottom of the barrel with the league's WORST MASH at 30-67-13. His pitching was particularly atrocious (worst WHIP, second-worst ERA, second-worst K/9), and that doesn't even take into account that he just didn't clear the minimum innings pitched (29.1 IP). It wasn't quite the historic faceplant of weeks 2 & 3, but it was bad enough to keep him firmly locked in last place overall (15-33-2). The nightmare continues for Jer.

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Standings Snapshot

After 5 weeks:

• #1: The Beetle Bunch (37-12-1) - Still cruising.
• #2: TNTNT (32-16-2) - Quietly dominant.
• #3: Ricky Vaughn (29-18-3) - Forgy moves up.
• #12: Staff Infection (15-33-2) - Still bringing up the rear.

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That's the lowdown for Week 5! Garrett is back, Ben is steady, the Thompsons are rolling, and Turg is... well, Turg. Keep fighting those battles!

Good luck in Week 6!