JOBU Ascends, Turg Descends: Week 3 Wrap 📈

Three weeks in, and the pretenders are starting to separate from the contenders (and the outright disasters). The big story this week? The Rise of JOBU!

Just two weeks after winning the "Biggest Fraud" award for a lucky H2H win despite a terrible performance, Jordy flipped the script entirely. JOBU didn't just win their matchup 8-2 against Bro Bichette; they absolutely dominated the entire league, posting a league-best MASH score of 79-21-10! This wasn't luck – Jojo finished top-3 across the league in a staggering 7 out of 10 categories (R, HR, SB, AVG, ERA, WHIP, and NW). Whatever adjustments were made, they worked wonders. Welcome to the contender circle, JOBU!

Also putting up strong MASH scores this week were TNTNT (65-39-6) and Ricky Vaughn (60-40-10), who were unfortuantely matched up against each other! More on that later.

In the battle of Week 1's MASH leader (Ads) vs Week 2's MASH leader (Ben), and a spot atop the standings very much up for grabs The Beetle Bunch took down Handsy McNasty 5-4-1.

🚽 Toilet Bowl Winner... Loser?

This week's special brand of failure centered around the much-anticipated (?) Toilet Bowl matchup against a couple of bottom-dwellers BaseOnBalls (Joel) and Staff Infection (Turg). We heard whispers early in the week, some bold predictions – one might even call it chirping – emanating from the Staff Infection dugout when things looked slightly competitive. Apparently, Turg thought this was his week to climb out of the muck.

Fast forward to Sunday night. Did Turg climb out? Oh, not even close. Instead, Joel got the emphatic last laugh, delivering a crushing 8-0-2 beatdown that left no doubt who won this battle for the bottom. Looks like someone celebrated a bit too early and maybe forgot to wipe after getting thoroughly flushed in the Toilet Bowl matchup. It happens to the best of us... or at least, it seems to happen to Turg.

Turg finds himself somehow worse than where he was when he started the week: sitting squarely, yet familiarly, in the league basement in 12th place. Maybe focus less on the chirping and more on the managing next week, Jer? Just a thought.

🏆 Matchup Mayhem

Here's how the Week 3 head-to-head battles concluded:

• JOBU hammered Bro Bichette 8-2
• BaseOnBalls blanked Staff Infection 8-0-2
• chicksDigtheLongball dispatched Bronx Bombers 7-3
• Air Yordan tied Welcome to the Jungle 5-5
• TNTNT outlasted Ricky Vaughn 5-4-1
• The Beetle Bunch clipped Handsy McNasty 5-4-1

This Week's Hard Luck Award 😢

Take a bow, Forgy (Ricky Vaughn). Putting up the 3rd best MASH score of the week is usually a recipe for success. Unfortunately, Forge ran headfirst into TNTNT, who posted the 2nd best MASH. It resulted in a tight 4-5-1 loss where stellar performances in Runs, RBI, and AVG just weren't enough. Sometimes, the schedule is just plain cruel.

This Week's "Got Away With One" Award 🍀

Step right up, G (Air Yordan)! Garrett technically snagged a win via tiebreaker over Welcome to the Jungle. While a win's a win, Air Yordan ranked just 8th in MASH this week, barely edging out Neate's 9th-ranked MASH performance. Winning categories like HR (Congrats on your first Homer Cup, G) and K/9 helped, but this victory came down to the wire against another bottom-half performer. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good, but just lucky works too!

Dumpster Fire of the Week: The Turg Recurrence 🔥

It pains me to do this, but we have a repeat customer. For the second week in a row, Staff Infection (Turg) claims the Dumpster Fire title. After posting the league's worst MASH score last week, Jeremy somehow managed to do it again with an even more abysmal 27-80-3 MASH wins. The H2H result? Well it was well documented in the Toilet Bowl section above. Turg's squad finished bottom-3 in HR, RBI, SB, AVG, K/9 and NW. That's... impressively bad across the board. Forget the Homer Cup, Turg might need to propose a "Participation Trophy" category at this rate. Two disastrous weeks back-to-back has Staff Infection firmly planted in last place overall. Ouch.

Standings Snapshot

After 3 weeks:

1. The Beetle Bunch holds onto the top spot (23-6-1).

2. TNTNT sits comfortably in 2nd (18-10-2).

3. JOBU rockets up to 3rd place (17-11-2) after that massive week.

   ...and Staff Infection anchored firmly in 12th (6-22-2).

That's the wrap for Week 3! JOBU is surging, Beetle stays steady, and Turg... well, Turg has some work to do. Keep tweaking those lineups and battling for every category!

Good luck in Week 4! ☘️